I WANT MY KNOB POLISHED!

Headline: I WANT MY KNOB POLISHED!

I want to get blown in and prefer not to travel far.

I will reimburse you if you tell me what you need or want

message me soon!

From: Jessica

Date: Sun, 25 Nov. 2012

To: Peter

Subject: Knob Polishing

Hi,

I saw your ad on craigslist. You said that you are looking for your knob to be polished and you are willing to reimburse. I noticed that you have a Wizard of Oz pillow in the background. I am a huge collector. I would be willing to do what you want in return for that pillow.

Let me know what you think.

From: Peter

Date: Sun, 25 Nov. 2012

To: Jessica

Subject: Re: Knob Polishing

In return for the pillow, I would like a picture of you with my penis in your mouth.

The pic would be for me only.

Jessica: Do you know what year the pillow is? I need to see if it's in my WOZ collectors catalog.

Peter: No year associated with it. It showed up in my apt in June. No idea from where.

Jessica: Are there any markings on the pillow? Sometimes they print a manufactured date on the inner tag.

Peter: no tags or markings or anything like that. Please let me know where we can meet or at least let me see who i am dealing with.

Jessica: I'll meet at your place, but I just want to make sure this is worth my while. The WOZ catalog has a few different pillows. Can you please measure the width and length for me?

Peter: the pillows 6 inches by 12 inches

i will need to see your face before giving you my address

Jessica: I will need a pic of the pillow first. There aren't any stains on it, are there?

Peter: no stains at all.

will shoot a pic over once i see you

till then, good night

Jessica: My pic is attached. This is from a few years ago before the surgery. If I approve of the pillow, I will send you some sexy post surgery pics.

(I attached a photo of a random girl)

Peter replied with the following photo:

 

Jessica: I appreciate the pic, but that is not the pillow I am looking for. That is a 2004. I was hoping it was from the 1991 Strathmore collection.

Peter: alrighty then

how about $100 for oral sex?

Jessica: What other Wizard of Oz collectibles do you have?

Peter: that pillows all i got

Jessica: I'm all set, then.

Peter: $300 for oral?

Jessica: Unless you can get me a Steinbach Wizard of Oz Winkie Guard Nutcracker, I'm all set.

 

Peter: give me a couple of days and we got a deal

your over 18, right?

Jessica: I will be in October.

Peter: october 2013? and what surgery did you refer to erlier?

Jessica: Yeah. 2013. I got back surgery.

Peter: what happened to your back?

Jessica: I fell off a deck. And yes, I can walk the walk. In a manner of speaking. I have trouble actually walking, but what I mean is, I can do sex. I just cant move around a lot.

Peter: take a guess at how old i am

Jessica: Based on the fact that you are a Wizard of Oz collector and you're a man, I'm going to assume late 50's.

Peter: actually 31, like i said, I have bo idea who gave this thing to me.

its a good pillow for the chair it is used for.

what town do you live in and could i see other pics?

Jessica: I'm not giving out my address. I attached some more pics.

Peter: hopefully its healing nicely

what year in school are you?

Jessica: I'm graduating this year, but I'd rather not talk about my school. What are your thoughts on the Wizard of Oz Blu Ray transfer?

Peter: i do not know anything on the Wizard of Oz except that i have a pillow with dorithy and the dog

i got to admit, this is a more positive conversation than what i am use too

Jessica: Have a wonderful evening. My nurse is here to roll me over.

The next day.

From: Peter

Date: Mon, 26 Nov. 2012

To: Jessica

Subject: [No Subject]

How is that back?

From: Jessica

Date: Tues, 27 Nov. 2012

To: Peter

Subject: [Leave me alone]

Hey, it's healing.

Listen. I can't talk to you anymore. My boyfriend found out what I was doing and he always freaks out on me when I try to blow people for Wizard of Oz memorabilia.